Hobbies and Loves Ornaments
One must wonder what possessed the original madman who first decided to dangle a miniature coffee maker from a pine bough. Yet here we are in 2024, celebrating the season with a collection of glass ornaments that would make Martha Stewart reach for her smelling salts.
Picture, if you will, a Christmas tree adorned not with traditional baubles and angels, but with tiny, glittering replicas of life's most wonderfully mundane moments. There dangles a perfect cappuccino machine, its diminutive steam wand frozen mid-froth, catching the twinkle lights like some caffeinated disco ball. Next to it, a yoga mat curls impossibly around a branch, as if the tree itself decided to work on its flexibility.
The golf clubs cluster together like metallic icicles, presumably waiting for that magical Christmas morning when they might shrink a banker down to ornament-size for a quick nine holes. A crossword puzzle, eternally stuck on 23-across, sparkles nearby, its little glass squares holding secrets that even the most dedicated puzzle solver couldn't hope to fill.
Perhaps most charmingly absurd is the tape measure, coiled like a festive serpent among the needles. One can only assume it's there to ensure the proper spacing between the drill (yes, a drill) and the other decidedly un-Christmas-like decorations that make this collection so endearingly peculiar.
These ornaments celebrate not just the holiday season but the beautiful oddities of everyday life. They transform the ordinary into the extraordinary, turning a simple Christmas tree into a glittering tribute to human hobbies and occupations. After all, who hasn't looked at their power tools and thought, "You know what would make this better? If it were made of glass and hanging from a tree."
Picture, if you will, a Christmas tree adorned not with traditional baubles and angels, but with tiny, glittering replicas of life's most wonderfully mundane moments. There dangles a perfect cappuccino machine, its diminutive steam wand frozen mid-froth, catching the twinkle lights like some caffeinated disco ball. Next to it, a yoga mat curls impossibly around a branch, as if the tree itself decided to work on its flexibility.
The golf clubs cluster together like metallic icicles, presumably waiting for that magical Christmas morning when they might shrink a banker down to ornament-size for a quick nine holes. A crossword puzzle, eternally stuck on 23-across, sparkles nearby, its little glass squares holding secrets that even the most dedicated puzzle solver couldn't hope to fill.
Perhaps most charmingly absurd is the tape measure, coiled like a festive serpent among the needles. One can only assume it's there to ensure the proper spacing between the drill (yes, a drill) and the other decidedly un-Christmas-like decorations that make this collection so endearingly peculiar.
These ornaments celebrate not just the holiday season but the beautiful oddities of everyday life. They transform the ordinary into the extraordinary, turning a simple Christmas tree into a glittering tribute to human hobbies and occupations. After all, who hasn't looked at their power tools and thought, "You know what would make this better? If it were made of glass and hanging from a tree."
Bye bye old Christmas balls
Welcome to 2024's collection of glass ornaments that would make Grandmother clutch her pearls before reaching for the sherry. These aren't the kinds of decorations that inspire quiet contemplation of silent nights. No, these are the ornaments that crash the party wearing leopard print and bring questionable jello shots.
