English Garden Ceramic Flower Teal Ranunculus Wall Art

$21.95

1 review

I never thought I'd find myself pondering the existential crisis of a teal ranunculus, yet here I was, staring at a wall adorned with what could only be described as botanical taxidermy. My sister, ever the avant-garde decorator, had proudly displayed her latest acquisition: a ceramic flower masquerading as wall art. "It's from Chive," she announced, as if name-dropping a prestigious art gallery. "They've been designing these for over ten years." I nodded, wondering if a decade was long enough to perfect the art of creating flowers that looked like they'd been caught in a nuclear accident. The ranunculus, small and teal, seemed to mock me from its perch. "It's... charming," I lied, the word tasting like sawdust in my mouth. "Isn't it?" she beamed. "It's the perfect wall decor. So much better than those tacky paintings you like." I bit back a retort about the superiority of art that didn't require a green thumb and a loose interpretation of reality. Instead, I asked, "Does it come with a pretty box to put it back in when you come to your senses?" She ignored me, lost in raptures about her faux flower fake floral masterpiece. I wondered if Chive made ceramic psychiatrists to go with their wall art. We were going to need one.
Dimensions
  • 3.5 inches diameter, 1.8 inches tall
Product Detail
  • Year Designed: 2023
  • Material: Ceramic
  • Finish: Glazed
  • Keyhole for Wall Hanging

Curated collection

One glances at ceramic flowers and the mind starts spinning like a deranged mathematician at a pottery sale. Thirty-one million possibilities lurk in those delicate petals - enough combinations to drive even the most dedicated decorator to drink. Through countless installations, watching clients wobble between choices while clutching paint swatches and muttering about feng shui, certain arrangements have emerged as clear winners. Here they are, tested and proven, saving countless hours of existential design crisis.

Looks Great On tables

Originally destined for tabletops, fate intervened when two domestic goddesses - Oprah and Martha themselves - declared these babies belonged on walls. Who could argue with that kind of decorating royalty?

Pretty Boxes

Each delicate ceramic blossom nestles in a box worthy of its artistry, wrapped with the kind of care that makes gift-givers beam with pride. Making others look thoughtful comes naturally around here.

Can be Used On a Wall

One discovers the most elegant of solutions: a humble keyhole adorns the reverse, yearning for nothing more than a single screw. Into drywall it slides, defying both gravity and common sense. Voilà - sweet victory.

Ceramic Flower Box Set

Pretty Flowers in Pretty Boxes

After eleven years of toiling, arranging, and obsessing over more than a hundred varieties of flowers, one learns that the postal service harbors a peculiar vendetta against beauty. Like a jealous god waiting to smite anything delicate or refined. But victory comes in the form of sturdy, elegant boxes - the kind that make a recipient feel like royalty, while secretly being fortress-strong enough to survive even the most spiteful mail handler's wrath.

Endless Combinations

One might imagine the English Garden ceramic flower collection emerged from some divine intervention, each piece destined to complement another like arranged marriages in a Jane Austen novel. The designers, those smug bastards, eliminated all possibility of aesthetic disaster. What generous gods, taking away the burden of poor taste. But now comes the true hell: drowning in an ocean of endless perfection, where every choice leads to another equally magnificent possibility. Standing there, paralyzed by beauty, cursing those clever devils who removed all traces of ugliness, leaving nothing but an endless maze of flawless combinations.

How to Hang

One discovers these flowers, each bearing a secret: a tiny keyhole nestled in the back, waiting for its destiny. The ritual feels almost predetermined - reaching into that dusty jar of orphaned screws, the ones squirreled away over countless home projects. Those odd bits of metal, collected like precious coins, finally finding their purpose. A quick twist of the drill, and there hangs beauty, supported by hardware whose previous life remains a mystery.