Bacon Ornament

You found it. The Bacon Ornament is blown from a gather of molten glass and painted in crimson-and-caramel stripes by hand, which gives each piece the slight variation in striping that actual bacon has and injection-molded replicas cannot reproduce. It hangs from a cap overhead and looks like breakfast decided to decorate for the holidays. Phil would frame this as inevitable.

A Bacon Ornament at a yankee swap gets stolen immediately by the person who has been waiting their entire professional life for someone to validate their breakfast preferences in glass form. It is hand-blown, hand-painted, and universally recognized by a group that considers universal recognition its due. Phil once won a swap with a less interesting object. This would have ended the competition outright.

The Bacon Ornament is a good coworker gift because it communicates awareness without intimacy, which is the correct register for professional gift-giving. Everyone has an opinion about bacon. The opinion is almost always positive. The ornament acknowledges this consensus in blown glass, which is more thoughtful than a mug and more memorable than a gift card. Phil agrees emphatically.

The Bacon Ornament is real blown glass, shaped from molten material at the torch by an artisan who gathers the glass on a pipe and forms the strip by breath and hand tools. The crimson-and-caramel stripes are painted on after cooling. No plastic, no resin, no factory line. Phil would note that authenticity in bacon and in ornaments shares the same diagnostic. You know it when you hold it.

The Bacon Ornament measures 3.74 inches long, 2.36 inches wide, and 0.87 inches tall, which makes it the flattest ornament in the batch and roughly the proportions of an actual strip of bacon, minus the grease and plus a hanging cap. It sits close to the branch and does not swing wide. Phil would say it knows how to occupy space efficiently.

Wrap it in tissue, flat side down, and place it in a rigid compartment inside your ornament storage box. The strip shape means it stacks neatly between layers if each layer has padding. Keep the box in a dry, temperature-stable location. Avoid stacking anything heavy directly on top. Treat it the way Phil treats his cast-iron skillet: with unreasonable care. Zero apology included.

We have the full menu. The Food & Drink Christmas Ornaments collection runs from whiskey to macarons to cheeseburgers, all blown from glass and painted by hand. The Bacon fits the collection because every piece celebrates a food people love without qualification. Bacon itself has never qualified its position on any plate.

The Bacon Ornament ships in protective packaging designed for transit, not in a presentation gift box. The packaging ensures the glass arrives intact, which is the priority. If you are giving it as a gift, you supply the wrapping, the ribbon, and the tag. The tag would probably just say bacon, in capital letters.