Purple Grapes Bunch Ornament

Unique gifts for wine lovers skip the fourth corkscrew and go for a hand-painted glass grape bunch instead. My neighbor Lorraine, who selects grapes for every gathering on our street with a jeweler's eye, received the first one I bought. She understood it instantly. No wine gadget has ever made her laugh for a full minute. This did.

The Purple Grapes Bunch ornament makes an excellent secret santa pick — considered, under budget, untraceable to panic. I drew Lorraine's name two years ago and watched her scan the room for the culprit, beaming. She never identified me. I have carried the secret since, and I intend to keep carrying it. It improves with age.

Anyone who treats the cheese board as an assignment would enjoy getting the Purple Grapes Bunch ornament. My neighbor Lorraine once diagnosed a failing spread from across my living room — too much salt, no acid, missing grapes — and the diagnosis held, as hers annually do. When she opened this in front of me, she called it overdue recognition, and nobody argued. Nobody argues with Lorraine.

Yes — the Purple Grapes Bunch ornament is real glass, hand-shaped and painted in graded purples with that pale ripeness bloom on the surface. Lorraine graded it from across her kitchen at first sight — peak minus two days, apparently the correct moment for grapes. She then delivered a short lecture on veraison to my husband. He took careful notes throughout. He was right to.

The Purple Grapes Bunch christmas tree ornament stands 3.39 inches tall and 1.77 inches wide, right in classic bauble range. I measured it against a real bunch once at Lorraine's request, on her counter, with witnesses present. Ours runs slightly ripe and slightly tall, and she approved both readings. The witnesses concurred.

Store the Purple Grapes Bunch ornament wrapped in acid-free tissue with its own compartment, somewhere the temperature stays civil. Lorraine keeps hers apart from her other ornaments so nothing rubs the painted bloom off in the summer months. Real grapes bruise, she reminds me every single January, but hers won't, because she has seen to it. I no longer argue.

The Swiss Cheese ornament pairs naturally with the Purple Grapes Bunch — centuries of board partnership, continued at altitude. Lorraine added the cheese the following year and now the two hang adjacent, permanently plated, which I pointed out and she allowed. Her sister contributed the French Press last Christmas, so the tree is becoming a menu. Lorraine is not mad.

The Purple Grapes Bunch ornament does not arrive gift boxed — it ships nested in protective tissue inside a rigid carton built for transit. Lorraine's arrived in perfect condition, bloom intact, which she checked before her coat was off. I added the ribbon myself in her driveway, ten seconds at the outside. The grapes did the rest.